Author Archives: FunkyLady

The Vampires of Sherwood Forest

sherwood horror

When I was a kid, I thought it would be cool to visit Sherwood Forest in hopes of running in to Robin Hood and his Merry Men. It never dawned on me that the legendary forest might harbor a more sinister company of thieves…blood thieves.

No, my imagination hasn’t gone off kilter (again). I just stumbled on to some news that a modern re-imagining of Robin Hood, with a horror twist, is in the works.

“Sherwood Horror” will follow ex-con Rob Locksley home, after a six year absence, only to discover that his town is under the rule of an evil sheriff and his horde of bloodsuckers. Locksley will have to join forces with his old roughneck hunting buddies to rid the town of the sheriff and his vampire minions.

Hmmm, a modern day Robin Hood southern gothic horror adventure? Could be interesting…what do you think?

Hopefully, it won’t totally suck.

[via Dread Central]

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Poor Baby: Weird Child Costumes

Man, I feel sorry for babies and small children. They are subject to the evil whims of their parents who seek a good guffaw at their expense through the age old trick of dressing them in weird costumes.

Then, years later, when the child is old enough to understand the pangs of embarrassment, said evil parents get out the scrapbook and proceed to regale the unfortunate child’s first date with “Baby’s first Holiday” stories and pictures.

Just look at what some parents are willing to do their kids for the sake of a good laugh and a lame scrapbook:

Well, this is the first time I’ve seen a chicken/Alien costume. The funny thing is, the poor little kid actually looks terrified.

chicken alien baby

 

So, where does the stuffing go?

turkey baby

 

A truly frightening Halloween costume. Gee, I wonder who runs his family?

baby hitler

 

I never did like Luke Skywalker. As far as I’m concerned, he’s right where he belongs, inside a rotting carcus sleeping bag.

rotting carcas

 

Sushi’s not just for Chinese Buffets anymore. Apparently it’s now a very coveted child costume:

sushi

 

There’s something freakishly weird about how this Nacho Libre toddler actually looks like a grown man:

tiny mexican wrestler

[via Huffington Post…except little Hitler]

Posted in fashion, halloween, holidays, humor | 1 Comment

Creepy Vampire Pacifier

vampire-baby

By now you know that I’m a huge vampire fan. But honestly, there are some vampire products that are just…creepy. Like the Billy-Bob Lil’ Vampire Baby Pacifier, for example.

Having read “Breaking Dawn” and “Interview with a Vampire”, I find child vampires disturbing, to say the least. I certainly don’t have the desire to give my any kid of mine the personality of a bloodsucker, instead of a milkdrinker.

vampire-baby-pacifier

Halloween is the exception, of course, but the rest of the year, I’d keep this creepy little sucker locked up in a coffin somewhere.

[via Geekologie]

Posted in halloween, humor | Leave a comment

Sumo-Style Olympics

Okay, so you suck at sports. In fact, in high school you looked about as coordinated as a Sumo wrestler lumbering down the track.

Come to think of it, that could really work to your advantage in today’s world, where Sumo Suit Olympics are all the rage. See for yourself:

I hope to see this event at the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics…the cold weather would be perfect cuz those suits have gotta retain heat like crazy. Besides, who doesn’t want to see Sumo Suit figure skating or the Sumo Suit downhill bobsled event?

Posted in events, humor, video | Leave a comment

China’s Munchkinland

Chinese Dwarves

There are two things I remember most about the Wizard of Oz…the scary-as-crap flying monkeys and the odd little people called Munchkins. As a child I didn’t realize Munchkins were real people. But now I have proof…they just happen to live in a village in China.

Seriously, folks, a group of dwarves in southern China have built their own community to escape discrimination from us “normal” sized people.

The 120 residents of the mountain village, located in Kunming, cannot exceed the maximum height of 4ft 3 inches tall and they have their own police force and fire-fighting brigade run by community members.

But the most interesting thing here is…these little people have turned their community into a tourist attraction, building mushroom-shaped houses and living and dressing as fairy tale characters.

Holy Lollipop Guild! Can you say Munchkinland? No, really, check out this video of the Wizard of Oz Munchkins and take special note of the mushroom-shaped houses in the background.

This story makes me wonder about something…if you could build your own freakin’ village, what would it be like? Who would you exclude from your community? I fancy I’d live in a world that resembles LOTR’s Rivendell (below), where reading, taking naps and eating dessert are the most popular pass times and ALL decent folk are welcome…even Munchkins.

LeavingRivendale

[via Metro.co.uk]

Posted in discussion, movies, news, video | 1 Comment

New Moon Trailer Premiere

I know that there are a lot of Twi-haters out there, but what kind of vampire fan would I be if I just ignored the premier of the “New Moon” trailer? Besides, other than a kissing scene, or two, it looks like the sort of action flick even the guys will want to watch.

I mean, com’on…you’ve got Bella’s self-destructive, adrenaline junky behavior, a fast sport’s car driving through the Italian country side, the sinister Volturi vampires kicking the crap out of Edward Cullen and a very muscular pack of werewolves trying to rip a baddie vamp to shreds.

Yep, a total dude flick.

(wink, wink…hope this works, ladies)

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Prince of Persia Costumes

Princeofpersiacostumes

You’ve probably seen the movie poster for Disney’s adaptation of the “Prince of Persia: Sands of Time”, so you know you’ll have to wait until May of 2010 to see the action adventure film.

In the meantime, enjoy this impressive display of Dastan and Tamina’s movie character costumes, set up at the D23 Expo.

Princeofpersiadastancostume

Princeofpersiacostume

I’m really digging Dastan’s warrior garb and feel strongly that my husband should have it. Oh crap…now I have to wait for the movie, AND the costumes! Why do I tease myself like this?

[via Screen Crave]

Posted in conventions, fashion, movies | 3 Comments

In Search of Solomon Kane

Soloman Kane

There’s a freaking movie conspiracy afoot and I am NOT amused! Will someone please tell me why the movies I’m dying to see don’t have US release dates? No fair. First it was “Dorian Gray”, now it’s “Solomon Kane”.

Here’s a short synopsis and trailer from the Quiet Earth:

The first part in a trilogy series, Solomon Kane is an epic adventure adapted from the classic pulp stories by Robert E. Howard, creator of “Conan the Barbarian.” Solomon Kane (James Purefoy) is a 16th Century soldier who learns that his brutal and cruel actions have damned him. Determined to redeem himself, Kane swears to live a life of peace and goodness but is forced to fight once more when a dark power threatens the land.

Holy crow, this looks good. If you have info about a US release date, please send it along!

Posted in movies, news, video | 1 Comment