Rob Zombie Eats Horror For Breakfast, Halloween Still Sucks

Halloween Rob Zombie

Let it be written that Rob Zombie’s new Halloween movie is of less than satisfactory qualities. Wait, it’s already been written? Worse, it’s been hit by Rotten Tomatoes.

Critics didn’t favorably smile upon the horror remake. Will the freak flick join the leigions of bargain bin Halloween horrors? Probably. To be fair, critics are notorious for taking unyielding jabs at remake films in any way possible. But the outlook is more grim than a pre-teen in a Paris Hilton costume.

In an effort to be fair to the crowd, I hit up “Ain’t it Cool News” for a legit review. Not legit because these guys are in any way experts at what they do, but because they are likely the target audience for this type of entertainment. Word on the street, and I quote:

ROB ZOMBIE’S JOHN CARPENTER’S HALLOWEEN is creatively bankrupt from the start. It is a fairly awful, leaden film, regardless of whether it’s a remake or a sequel or an original. It’s got huge structural problems, and there are stretches of the film that play like self-parody by Zombie, a real problem considering he’s only three movies into his career. When you start falling into bad habits that turn even your most serious scenes funny this early in a filmography, you could end up making hollow echoes of your work, trapped and unhappy as an artist. I think Zombie’s already in danger of that, and there’s a fine line between having a style that is your signature and being straightjacketed into a style that is an empty pose and nothing more.

What has become apparent over the course of his three films is that Rob Zombie prefers his monsters to his people. He is what is commonly known as a “monster kid.” I’ve met many of this in this industry… guys who grew up totally crazy about the monsters. I’ll bet you Rob Zombie had a subscription to Forry Ackerman’s FAMOUS MONSTERS at some point. I’ll bet you he had all those Aurora monster model kits, lovingly detailed. I know a lot of guys who grew up the same way, and some of them (like Daniel Roebuck) even appear in Zombie’s HALLOWEEN. When he talks about horror, he says all the right things. I don’t think he’s just pretending to like the genre… I just think that Rob’s particular fetishes cloud his judgment as a storyteller, and in this case, it works against the film.c

I’m not terribly taken by the horror genre, but I feel inclined to see this one for the costumes. Since horror flicks boast some of the most creative and unique costumes, it’s a given that this could really be an innovative title. In the end it sounds like I may have to go with low expectations.

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